Newsweek has a really cool story about the latest and greatest in post-Christmas gifts for your MAGA friends and relatives.
“Storm the Capitol”, the board game, is still available for purchase - be ready to shell out 70 bucks - after its debut on, of course, January 6. A very limited amount of games are available for purchase so, if you are interested, it’s better that you not wait to take advantage of this grift, oh, excuse me, this purchase. The perfect gift for Patriots and Police alike, its promoters say.
The game is developed and sold by, and gets a substantial social media bump from, TruthAnon, the 9th highest rated podcast on Patreon.
The object of the game is to invade The Capitol, seize as many ballots as possible, and make your way to a final room. The Newsweek article implies that there, a helicopter will be waiting to wisk you away. If you are playing this role, you are the Patriots. You also can play as the Police, using any means necessary to prevent the Patriots from reaching the room by the 10th move. Apparently, there’s nothing in the game about being arrested later when you get home.
Just a side note, I have kind of a weird thing about these national disaster events. I was sitting in a hairdresser’s chair when news broke on TV about 9-11-2001. I was sitting in a dentist’s chair when 1-6-2021 came over the television, live. The two chairs are 20 miles apart - weird - I haven’t been to the hairdresser or the dentist since.
Anyway, “Storm the Capitol” is fun play for 4 to 7 players and the game says it is “definitely” for 18 years and older. I would show you the box but it has an obsenity on it unsuitable for a family newspaper (hint: Let’s Go Brandon).
But I can give you this fun promo - the game was announced on X:
Relive one of the funniest days in American history! Storm the Capitol is the world’s first board game based around the events of January 6, 2021. Take control of one of 6 Patriots as you battle through the Capitol, collecting ballots, taking hostages, and fighting the police. Or play as the Capitol Police and use every means at your disposal to prevent the Patriots from getting to the roof with enough ballots to Stop the Steal.
This is a real board game designed for 4-7 players. Definitely 18 years and up. STORM THE CAPITOL: TRUEANON EDITION is brought to you by Creamhound and TrueAnon. Extremely limited quantities and exclusive to TrueAnon.com Games will ship mid-January
The game answers a question for me - what was the objective of the Jan. 6 Riot? Now the Newsweek article says the game says the objective is to gather 100 ballots and make it to the final room and escape by helicopter. Presumably, without those 100 “missing” ballots the Presidential Election of 2020 could not be certified by Congress, so the Presidency could not change hands until the missing ballots were found. I guess it would have been the most massive manhunt - eh, paperhunt - in American history. Whatcha wanna bet the ballots would have been found a few decades from now in a safe inside the Krelim.
It is telling, to me, that one -- 1 -- player portrays The Capitol Police. If there are 3 other players or 6 other players, it’s kind of like how law enforcement was outmanned on the front lines that day, The Darkest Day for Democracy in American History (Fort Sumter is a close second). Not sure how the blood and carnage is portrayed, but I guess that’s why the game is for 18 and older. Goodness knows, we wouldn’t want young people younger than 18 seeing blood while playing a game.
Vic MacDonald is Editor of The Clinton Chronicle. In June, 2025, he will observe his 50th year in community journalism. Reach him at 864-833-1900 or news@clintonchronicle.net.
