Life has taken many turns and twist over the past few years; some I expected, some I didn’t but none the less, they happened. Through all the things going on, I learned a lot. I learned a lot about others, I learned a lot about myself and with that knowledge comes change. Change that I wasn’t expecting because one would assume that I was settled and I knew exactly what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, but what I didn’t understand was the true meaning of “chapters”.
I have often spoken in many of my writings, of the closing and opening of new chapters and how the journey of life continues, but what I didn’t expect was the drastic change in mindset that certain chapters will have once they are closed. In a sense you died, or at least that version of you did and the things that person wanted to do are no longer the things that you want to do because you are not the same any more. This, to me, came as a total shocker on the outside, but on the inside, it seemed destined to happen based on the things that occurred before today. Living in denial kept me with a sense of peace and security because my life was predictable and I was certain as to how things ‘should’ happen, but one can say I am everything but, predictable. And, it was only a matter of time before living in a ‘box’, would completely consume me and force me to break free and attempt things that would not make much reasonable sense to others; hence, here I am today in another chapter where everything is new, or at least on the outside anyway.
For the inner workings of my mind don’t always go with the stereotypical train of thought of most people and I can say that comes with the territory of being an artist. The visions in my mind will often times not make any sense to anyone until the project is complete and I have come to terms with my reality. Seeking understanding of others is not on my list of thing to do but putting into action the many ideas that my mind can dream up, is.
Oddly enough, I didn’t choose this chapter, it chose me and I will embrace it because I believe everything happens for a reason. My unconventional mindset must have a purpose in society. Even if the masses don’t agree or understand, none of that matters anymore. Going against the grain and doing what is right, is not an easy task, but life is going to have its struggles anyway; therefore, I might as well make it count for things that have meaning to me.
Cheers to ‘unexpected’ chapters, the best be yet to come.
Lacresha Dowdy is a graduate of Clinton High School, Piedmont Technical College, and Claflin University in Orangeburg. Since December, 2009, she has been the City of Clinton Municipal Court clerk of court, and also is a Community Relations Specialist with the city and President of the Clinton Rotary Club.
